Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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