what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops