Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

eat a hot dog

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops