Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down

A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

thumb_up thumb_down

Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

thumb_up thumb_down

A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

thumb_up thumb_down

I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

thumb_up thumb_down

dont you love porch monkeys? no.

thumb_up thumb_down

Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down

What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

thumb_up thumb_down

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

thumb_up thumb_down

man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops