Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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