Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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