How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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kkkk

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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