A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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