A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Everybody love food when they are hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's brown and sticky A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops