What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This is not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

thumb_up thumb_down +14

your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

thumb_up thumb_down +14

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is worse than torture? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops