Im taking a shit right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

eat a hot dog

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops