Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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What do you call a camel with three humps? A deformed bactrian

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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