Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

trump and hillary are both stranded on an island, who survives? america

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

And you honored it I see :P

I was watching Fox news.

Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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