- Anti Joke

Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- slam

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

a man makes a bad joke

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

knock knock Goodbye