How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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