What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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