A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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