how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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