What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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