There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

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Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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