There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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Swag.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops