What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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