Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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