What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

12 in general

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

I love pissing people off :P

A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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