What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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CHAD'S A FAG!!!

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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nick and a mexican were in a falling plane.. nick ate the mexican... that is all..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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