Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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