what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Click here to end the world.

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops