how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Why was the man sad? His wife left

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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