Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

(Knocks on Helen Keller's door) You: Knock knock Helen:....

what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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