Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

What does two plus two equal? 4

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

Knock knock. Get out!!

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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