Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

What did the man with no head say to the women?

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

your sister has 1 boob thats funny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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