what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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