What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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What happens after you go to school? (you tell me, i'm only in 6th grade)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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