what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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