knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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sfdg

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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Why? Because.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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