How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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