what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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