tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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