What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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