You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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