Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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One, two, three, four and five

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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Whats 1+1? window!

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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