A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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why is the black guy cross the rode. he did not' he got in a truck. i know it does not make s...

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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