When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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Skinny people fart less.

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yeyeyeyeye live action

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Read a Book.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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good looking women

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops