you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

Why was the hasidic so stupid? He wasn't. He died in the holocaust.

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

25

if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

What do you call an awesome school? St Heinrich's Law School (Teaching you to break the laws!)

so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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