How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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knock knock Who's there? Will Nealis Will Nealis who? Will nealis continuously finds himself crying himself to sleep as reality begins to smack himn in the face revealing to him that nobody has, does, or ever will like him. He is also informed that the reason his parents left him is because he is such a flaming ginger, his nasty face ruins the atmosphere of any room he walks in to. he has been adopted by a lovely gay couple and he takes after both of his fathers very much, in the aspect of enjoying massive animal c o c k in his mouth as well as having threesomes with his dads. will goes to school everyday and is tormented for being homosexual, so when he goes home hie parents beat him....off and have lemon partys with wills grandpa as he watches and masturbates vigourously.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Racial Equality

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why? Because.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops