So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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