Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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