I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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