Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops