A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man fart? He didn't. Stop being so dirty-minded.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: are you gay? A: maybe

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops