a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops