Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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Lil Wayne

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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