Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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