What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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