I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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